The Woolston Lawn Billiards
& Bat-and-Trap Society

Not so much an ancient game, more a state of mind


With a Bang and a Splat

Posted by woolstonlawnbilliards on September 5, 2011 at 12:35 AM

It is one year since the terrific noise of the 4th of September 2010 woke us at 4:35 with a violence that made all in our house fear bombing or worse. The opening day of last season was meant to be the next day. As it turned out we had a lovely season with very pleasant weather, albeit an interrupted one with the horror that followed in February. As a rock geek during my childhood I knew something about earthquakes. I was also aware of how painfully slow geological time is by human standards and that therefore the likelihood of a serious event occurring in my lifetime was pretty slim. I say 'was' because of course now I can say I have survived the most rapid acceleration recorded anywhere in the world as the earth bucked on the 22nd of February. Stalwart Woolstonians we are indeed, because that wasn't the end of it, either. We were treated to a repeat performance of February and I got to watch yet more rocks thundering down the valley walls. Thankfully no-one was killed by them this time.

What a relief then, to begin this Lawn Billiards year with only a little liquefaction on the lawns to deal with. I'd been a bit crook the week before the opening day, so all I did to the pitch was to find the markings from previous years and mow them - hence the lumpy bits at the end of the pitch. We decided to ignore them and just play the ball where it lay as best we could without worrying about replacing it.

Turned out we were terrible. Nothing like half a year or so away from play to dull the skills. Didn't prevent the residual grey matter of the Master of the Treasury from ticking over though. He came up with a classic rule: all chukkas must be won on a cannon. I will be updating the rules shortly to include this wee gem.

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